color me purple.. of it

of it, for it, by it, in it, on it.. love it, mean it...

12.25.2006

HBDTY!

have an awesome 40th birthday, babe!!! you are such an amazing man, and i love you bout a trillion (or 7)..

here's a little gift from our friends who are safe in hiding (for now) in chicago:



HFBDTY,YSM!!

sending love..

to roman.. your friends and fans are all around you, hugging you til you are ready to continue your quest of world domination..

merry christmas, bitches!

i don't think there is a better christmas movie than "rent".. it tells the story of friends and lovers through a year in their lives - from christmas to christmas.. and i wanna share some of it with you..


to my sons: i should tell you how awesome you both are - you'll see, boys that you are more than what you own..

to my friends: i wanna go out tonight! maybe we can sing one song GLORY!

to my love: throughout our seasons of love, i will cover you and be your life support.. you light my candle (in more ways than one).. and baby, today is definitely for you and you and you you and you!





12.24.2006

because you fucking need it:



and so do i..

merry christmas!

12.23.2006

a christmas poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front lines,
That separate you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... An American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

jenny watch...

lawd we didn't go visit jenny or kirstie today..

bad girl, too many biscuits!

check back next saturday for the gruesome details of 2 weeks of badness....

12.21.2006

my christmas wish...

this is what i am hoping Doug will give me for christmas:

12.16.2006

jenny watch...

164 days in --- have gained 1/2 of a pound since december 9..

total loss so far: 43.8 pounds

12.15.2006

merry christmas from camp freddy

12.11.2006

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!







snowy ferrety cuteness!! awwwwwwwwwwwww!!

12.09.2006

jenny watch...

157 days in --- have lost 1.4 pounds since december 2..

total loss so far: 44.3 pounds


*shock*

12.06.2006

colorgenics..


i found this on one of my favorite blogs, New York Moments, and was amazed to see some home truths.. try it.. here are my results:

You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate (an aside - i would think this might apply to a potential employer since i already have an amazing personal relationship). At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

Enough is enough - but the problems never seem to stop. They never stop. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit - you bounce back time and time again - you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that 'belief' system that in the end, everything will turn out OK - and you are right -it will!

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realise all your ambitions.

depressed..

and wanting to just eat everything ... good thing i am completely destitute or i would.. pantry and frig are empty, so i guess that's a good thing..

hape it hape everything hape being sick hape having no job hape being poor hape being fat hape christmas cause i can't buy my kids anything hape being such a fucking failure hape not having my kids hape jerry springer hape illness hape being ignored hape being mediocre hape me

12.04.2006

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

cat-a-bunga!!!!!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

12.02.2006

jenny watch...

150 days in --- have lost 2.7 pounds since november 25..

total loss so far: 42.9 pounds


hmmm, don't know how i did that, cause i had a bad eating week... this next week will be a challenge since i am now without a job - my routine - and i have a ton O free time.. will really try to get to the gym a lot, and will focus on jenny and not marie callender.. hahahaha...

12.01.2006

World AIDS Day




Around forty million people are living with HIV throughout the world - and that number increases in every region every day.

World AIDS Day, December 1st, is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV and AIDS. This year, it's up to you, me and us to stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

What can we do?

Take action!!

HIV is increasing in every region in the world. Yet it is a preventable disease.

You, me, us - we CAN stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

Here are some things you can do:

Break the silence - Challenge ignorance and prejudice: wear a red ribbon, speak out or educate others.

Campaign - Help prevent millions of deaths from AIDS every year: campaign with us to get lifesaving HIV treatment to those who need it.

Donate now - The money you donate to the National AIDS Trust will help stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

Fundraise - Take a collection box, organise a red themed event or do an overseas challenge to raise money for HIV and AIDS.

Get the red ribbon - Wear a red ribbon on World AIDS Day and encourage others to help raise awareness and challenge prejudice.

Tell your story - Tell what YOU are going to do. Your story could inspire others to take action.


--------------

Turning the Tide against HIV/AIDS


“There are only two possible responses to suffering on this scale. We can turn our eyes away in resignation and despair, or we can take decisive, historic action to turn the tide against this disease….”
—President George W. Bush

President George W. Bush has made fighting the international HIV/AIDS pandemic a U.S. priority. The U.S. President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS (Emergency Plan/PEPFAR) is the largest commitment ever by a single nation toward an international health initiative — a 5-year, $15 billion, multifaceted approach to combating the disease in more than 120 countries around the world. The strategy places a special emphasis on 15 focus nations in Africa, the Caribbean, and Asia that represent approximately half of the world’s infections.

---------------

HIV/AIDS affects every single one of us - whether we know it or not.. we MUST be diligent in keeping the word out there that we CAN fight this..

peace, health, and love to you all..




Support World AIDS Day

the time has come...

to say goodbye to my 12-yr job... really hard to do... don't wanna... i'm already here even though the bridges were icy this morning - sitting alone cause no one is in yet.. it's gonna be a hard day.. we are all going to lunch together today for the last time, and tonight there is gonna be a huge party with tons of blast-from-the-past coworkers and friends.. i'm even gonna sing for them - hopefully it will be encouraging to us all:

This time around I'll take the moment
This time around I'll make it last
I've had my share of wasted moments
But this time around I'm holding fast
This time around I will be stronger
Stronger than I've been before
I'll find the sky and soar
This time around

This time around I will be daring
I'm going where I've never been
This time around luck will come knocking
And when he does I'll let him in
This time around - No second places
I'm showing aces - I'll win
I'm gonna have it all
This time around

Love, I'm gonna find you
Happiness, I'm right behind you
I've had my share of crying
But there's no denying I'm on my way

This time around I'll taste the glory
And I'm not going down without a fight
This is my life, my own story
And this time around I'll get it right
This time around, I'm gonna find it
Look out world, watch me shine, shine
I'm gonna grab that big brass ring
And I'm gonna make it mine
This time around, I'm gonna make it mine


-----

whatever..

cause that's not how i feel right now.. i am very down, and just wish this wasn't happening.. it's scary thinking that come monday, i won't have a job to go to.. i have worked all my adult life, and a lot of my teen years too, so this is gonna be different..

of course, i will get another job.. hopefully in time to start early january (i wanna take december off).. and i hope that i can get some stuff done while i am off...

blah..
don't wanna..

oh well - that's life.. and that's coporate america..