a first for me...

today, i experienced something i have never experienced EVER in my life: i was told (along with all my co-workers) that my office lost our account's business, and very soon i will be out of a job..

i have been here almost 12 years, working on the same account.. my co-workers have almost all been here at least that long on the same account.. we have been together through ups and downs..

let me interject here by saying we have been on the 'chopping block' waiting for news of our fate for most of this year.. it is the first time in our 19 year relationship with our client that the business went out for bidding.. so when we found out late last year that this was a possibility, we were a bit shocked.. but confident that our client would see how hard we bust our collective asses at making their account very successful.. so in the last couple of months when it started becoming more and more clear that the relationship was in jeopardy, it started sinking in, and a quasi disbelief hung over us.. SURELY they would realize they aren't gonna find the same quality and experience somewhere else.. SURELY they would see how fucking dedicated we all have been for so many, many years.. SURELY..

and you know what? it all boiled down to the almighty fucking dollar.. the client didn't opt for experience or loyalty or dedication or knowledge or bust-assitude..

nope..

they looked at the bottom line, and went with our competitor because DING DING DING - the price was right..

so let's tell em what they've won, johnny!! an agency who has not ONE FUCKING CLUE at what it takes to make this account SING.. i honestly wish i could be a fly on the wall when this agency realizes what it takes to make this client happy.. and i wanna see the client's face when they realize that they are sooooooo DEE-DA-DEEEEEEEE by choosing this other agency..

you know, another thing: it's sorta sad the way we were told..

-our boss's boss was not here to tell us.. she apparently is soooooo distraught over the loss.. and what it's gonna do to all of US... HA!

-we were not taken into a private conference room where we could hear in private.. we were told ON THE FLOOR in a huddle where other accounts could watch our faces go from hope to hard, cold reality.. other people were actually standing and watching..

-we were given the bad news, then the old "ok, let's get back to work" speech.. about how we need to go out in style.. to show our integrity..

-AND my supervisor co-ink-a-dentally is going on vacation starting tomorrow and through next week... PUSSY!!

i honestly am very numb right now.. i don't know which emotion is stronger: sadness or anger..

i just wanna go home, and be with the one i love.. hoping he will be there for me when i get home, so i can vent, maybe cry, sit in his arms and hear his soothing voice, have some dinner together and know that i do belong somewhere..

be together so i don't have to think tonight about what i will have to think about tomorrow..

corporate bullshit makes me sick...

kittyyyyyyyyy!

another offering from roman ... you just really gotta love a guy who "slowly rises up to ceiling then skitters off arachnid style" cause he needs some "beer-ness"

True Friendship Is A Rare Bird...

this is one of Roman Dirge's latest paintings... definitely love his work!


you should check out his writings on his journal.. he is a funny guy, and very oddballish (in a sweet, sick, funky oddballish kind of way).. i think he and i would get along swimmingly.. he seems to have the same quirky sense of humor, and a love of off-beat vocabulary like i do..

plus he is lenore's Daddy, and i wuv lenore... wuv her wif a burning hunk-a hunk-a burning wuv...

AWWWWWWWWW

letters from kasey

for a while now, i've been getting letters from a girl named kasey.. i have never met her, but we correspond and exchange pictures.. i thought i would share some of her letters to me with you, dear readers.. it seems kasey has had many adventures, and is a very bad girl, and i thought some of you might enjoy reading about an alternative girl living an alternative lifestyle..

here goes:

--------

Beginnings:

Hi. i'm kasey. i didn't start off on my wild experiences even being aware that i knew about S&M. During my marriage, i had dabbled in some minor things like light bondage, getting cutesy little swats on my ass, even light pressure applied to my neck during sex. It wasn't until a few years later when i was deeply involved in it that i learned that all this was part of a bigger picture.

i was in a loveless marriage - definitely a sexless one - and one day in december of 1999, i woke up at the age of 40 and made the decision that i didn't wanna someday discover at the age of 80 that my whole life had slipped away from me, just to find i was still miserable and unloved, untouched, living a silent death.

So i did something about it - i got online. And oh my god! i realized there was actually an exciting world out there. Through the anonymity of the internet, and a little moxie, i took the plunge and started chatting with different men. At first, it was men who lived far away - safe enough, i thought.

Until i "met" a man from montreal, canada. He was very into s&m, and was very dominant. We began chatting. i remember he was actually the first man i ever had phone sex with. He was very demanding, and had lots of authority and control. All i could think of was wanting to be controlled by him so when we would talk, i would do everything he said - even though he couldn't see me, or even see if i was obeying.

He would have me do things i normally didn't do - hell, i didn't do most of these things -- like slap my pussy really hard, or masturbate using an empty corona bottle filled with boiling hot water. i found that these things really turned me on. Was it the actions that were so hot, or was it finally being with a man who took control that just really made me crazy?

i actually finally met him. It was about a year into our chats that i flew to denver to meet him. He was on a conference with his job, and since i was able to, i bought tickets to fly to the mile high city to visit him. i picked him up from the airport, and immediately he took control. He told me to drive him to his hotel, and the moment we got inside his room, he bent me over the sofa, and tore down my skirt and started fucking my ASS. No, he didn't start with my drenching wet pussy - he went directly for my ass.

Aat this time of my life, i had only had anal sex a very few times, so my ass was (ok, still is) so very very tight. And he was not gentle either. He rammed his big cock right up my ass, forcing himself deep inside me as i was directed to not make a fucking sound.

We finally moved over to the bed, and he continued raping my almost virgin ass. He was about 10 years younger than me, and since i was used to a man about 6 years older who almost NEVER wanted sex (and when he did - it was very normal and polite), i felt as if i were being totally used and abused.

OK, i loved it!

After we played a while, we decided to go clubbing, and we went to a fun bar where there were "dueling pianos" on stage - guys who would sing naughty songs, using audience participation and they were a lot of fun. We were drinking a bit, and feeling incredibly horny despite the hours of fun we had just experienced. I was wearing a tank top and a long skirt which was split up the side, and per his instructions - no panties.

Since the club was extremely crowded, we had to stand on the second tier, above some tables, by a rail. About 30 minutes into the show, he started feeling me up. He started innocently enough - rubbing my back, giving me kisses - but he got very bold, and actually put his hand up my skirt and started rubbing my clit. i had to use the rail to balance myself, because he was being forceful. There were people all around us, and seriously, i thought they were making a great shield to hide what we were doing. Apparently i was wrong, because about 20 minutes into the naughtiness, a bouncer came over and asked us to leave the bar!! OMG that was crazy! i was embarrassed, of course, but so amazingly turned on.

We left and had a good laugh about getting kicked out of a bar. He had to get back to his hotel, so i dropped him off, and i never saw him again, although i did keep in touch via the internet and phone for about a year.

This was my first taste of being with a dominant man, and believe me, it just whetted my appetite for more experiences as a submissive slut. So i got back online, looking for more local fun.

More to come in following letters.

i am -

kasey

puss over brawn

that is one BAD ASS CAT!!






Caption: Jack, a feisty and territorial cat in West Milford, NJ, treed more than a canary. That's a black bear he cornered -- twice. It came down after 15 minutes, only to be immediately chased by Jack up another tree. Bear finally fled after owner took Jack inside.

i am SO SORRY... but..

i am so fucking horny today..



that's it..


again, i apologize...

to sweet Rene:

your song will never be forgotten, and your sweet manner will always be cherished.. you and Hal were the very first people we met at bleachers, and you wowed us with your voice and stage presence.. but more than the performance you gave to us, you impressed us with your gentle spirit and the way you embraced us into yourself.. and although you had many years to call your own, it was your amazing youthfulness that still makes me dream of the years ahead with my special One, and i only hope that we can be as full of life as you were..

the first song i heard you sing was:

Georgia, Georgia
The whole day through
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind
I said Georgia, Georgia
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in the peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
I said Georgia, oh Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind

... and miss Rene, i can still hear you singing now..


you will be greatly missed

my birthday freakin' ROCKED!!!

i must retract my previous post where i was whining about karaoke being off the books for my birthday... because i had a BLAST with our friends!

as soon as i can get pics from Mister Man, i will post some here and will write more..

just wanna say a huge thanks to Doug, and to all my friends who made this the most funnestest of all birthdays!!! Yall are awesome!!


--------

update -- i still don't have pics from my birthday, but you can see some here.

go meeeeeeee, go meeeeee...

...it's my birthday, it's my birthday!



let me just say that basketball SUCKS donkeys because the stupid whatever basketball game is making me miss having my birthday party at our karaoke bar because the owner wants to show the game rather than listen to me sing.. ARRRRRRGGGGGGG..

why are basketball games still going on???? i thought it was BAAAAAAAAAAAASEY-BALL season (wabbit season), not barfetball season (duck season)...

all i wanted to do for my birthday is go to our normal place where everybody knows our names, sit with our friends at our normal table, drink mucho shot-o's of tequila, eat dinner, sing, laugh, get silly, go home and fuck for a couple of hours.. is that too much to ask?

guess it is... blah

cookies anyone?

they might taste a little dirge-y at first, but i bet they go down smoooooooove...