color me purple.. of it

six years ago..

2008-09-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

six years ago, it was a sunday, and at this time, i was sitting in the ICU at baylor hospital next to my mom's bed.. i didn't know at the time, but it would be our last night together..

she had been there in ICU since the horrible fall the previous thursday night when all she did was stand up from getting out of bed.. just the action of standing caused her to break her femur, the largest bone in the body.. my mom was very small - only about 5 feet 1-2 inches at the most, and maybe 115 lbs.. maybe.. the doctor said not many break their femur unless it's a traumatic accident - like eating pavment after a motorcycle wreck for example..

but my little mom broke her femur just by standing up..

the doctors at baylor fixed her leg the next day, but she never got over the surgery..

you see, my mom had cancer.. she had been diagnosed in February 2002.. at the time, the doctor thought it was in her lymph glands next to her breast.. she had surgery and they removed what they found.. but over the course of the next very few months, the cancer spread with lightening speed.. all over her body..

of course, who knows how long mom had been sick.. i remember the christmas before when she had told me she just didn't know if she could do all the christmas fixings the next year, and i told her, of course you can.. my mom's house at christmas was full of joy and lights and trees and incredible food.. and of course, with mom.. and christmas 2001, it just wore her out like it had never done before..

i guess i'm like any kid (okay, a very OLD kid.. but still HER kid) and thought that mom was superwoman and could go on forever.. believe me, she was superwoman.. i just never thought of her getting sick.. or of even slowing down..

she WAS crazy super wonder woman.. and she and i, along with my absolutely kooky sister, were unstoppable.. we were the original "three amigos" and we had amazingly funny, silly adventures together..

in new york city, we almost convinced the "weenie man" as we called him (a street vendor selling hot dogs) that we would be back at midnight to buy food from him.. he was intrigued to say the least.. then there was the "waldorf astoria" incident, where the three of us got so hysterical laughing, that we had to separate ourselves in that magnificently overpriced swanky joint into three different corners of the lobby while we laughed uncontrollably, praying to God that we didn't pee our pants - three hicks from texas messing up their precious carpet.. we couldn't even look at each other, because even the slightest glance in the other's direction would bring on new bouts of hysteria..

in washington dc, the three of stayed in the prestigious Willard Hotel.. and the doorman thought mom was just the bee's knees (which she was).. and he flirted with her the whole trip.. and mom would sit outside the front of that grand hotel, watching a homeless man at the corner work the cars sitting at the light.. she was enthralled, but OMG so funny.. recapping all his moves over and over and over again to my sister and me while we just died laughing.. then there was the "smithsonian" incident.. where the three of us sat in one of those self-serve photo booths TRYING to squeeze our fat asses (well, mine for sure was fat.. and the "assitude" went down-sized from me.. but lawd, we had to sit close) in there while taking our pic with then president and cigar-insertion-enthusiast Bill Clinton.. it took us more than 30 minutes (with people waiting their turn outside the booth) to take that picture because our makeup was dripping from laughing so hard.. we just couldn't quite grasp the idea that we were looking the wrong direction each time we attempted to take a pic.. we finally did get that pic taken, and had to hold up the line longer to get the attendant to make 2 more copies of that crazy pic so we could each have one..

we went to elton and billy and eagles concerts together.. we shopped til we dropped.. teri, my sister, and i raised our 4 kids with mom.. she was our bud.. our friend.. our scummy lou..

years of memories.. laughing, crying, yelling, eating, shopping, canasta-playing, pants-peeing.. we did it all..

and six years ago, how was i to know death would knock the very next day? somewhere very deep within me, i knew.. but when that moment came the next day, i was begging my mother, my mom, my friend, to PLEASE not go.. oh God, please don't leave me..

so at about 1pm on september 16, 2002.. it was a monday.. and my mom left us.. teri telling her it was ok to go, me begging her to stay..

i would like to think that in those last moments, with teri and me there.. and our dad.. and others.. that mom sent out her last breath of love to us.. just as she had done all my life.. all teri's life, too.. just giving us love - giving us herself..

my life has not been the same since she left.. i don't think i will ever get over losing her.. i know my kids suffered a lot in the following years.. thank GOD, they have both recovered and are doing well now.. very fine young men with amazing possibilities ahead..

thankfully for me, too.. i have gotten better.. i met Doug.. and have found love in him like i have never had in my life before..

but i wish for a split moment i could go back six years.. and sit at her bedside, and just kiss my mom once more, and hold her hand.. i hope she is listening now.. i know both teri and i would say "i love you, mom"

the cheshire cat and allison wonderland

2008-01-14T17:26:00.001-08:00

yes, you read it right.. it's been a long, long time since i have written anything.. shame on me.. but i had to write this down tonight..

it's funny how quickly life passes by.. this hit me really hard a couple of nights ago when Doug and i were driving home, and he pointed out the sliver of the moon up in the sky..

i had already seen it, and was already a million miles (million years) away..

you see, when my oldest son, who is now 23, was just a teeny kid, he said something that has stuck in my mommy memory for all these years.. we were outside one night about 20 years ago, and he said, "look, mom! it's the cheshire cat!!" i looked up, and wow, there it was - the moon was shaped like the cheshire cat's grin.. i had never in my life seen it like that until my little boy pointed it out to me.. it's amazing how kids can see wonder in the most mundane things.. i had only always seen the moon up in the sky, but josh pointed out something curiouser and curiouser to me..

as for allison... well when my youngest son, who is now 18, was prolly bout 3 years old too, he had a funny way of pronouncing words.. again, things that are stuck in my mommy memory.. he always talked about "fozzie moto", about going to "many evil times" for a fun outing, about "pliget" from winnie the pooh, and about "allison wonderland".. he also made his forehead and eyes look like frankenstein when he was upset, and i always called him on it and made him laugh.. silly words, silly faces - all part of his growing up, and a part of me i will always cherish..

here we are now in 2008.. and my oldest son is on his own, with his own life, job, friends, apartment.. and my youngest son is about to graduate from high school and on his way to texas a&m to pursue his dream of eventually being in the air force.. and then there's me.. missing my kids with such a burning fire in my chest, that i can feel it consume me and threaten to lay me to waste..

when did they grow up? when did they become such grown men, with ambitions and dreams of their own? do they even need me anymore?

i miss the cheshire cat and allison wonderland being real parts of our lives... perhaps that is why my right arm is dedicated to a full sleeved tattoo depicting characters from alice in wonderland (granted, with my own warped interpretation - but dedicated to both of my amazing kids who spark imagination and fancy in me even now)... all i can do now is to thank them for giving me such amazing memories, and to just keep on loving them with all my heart..

josh, chris: i love you both

halloween safety tips!

2007-10-31T08:56:00.001-07:00

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,
NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as
a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power
has gone out. If the breakers are in the basement, go
to another house.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other
language which they should not know, shoot them
immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the
long run. However, it will probably take several
rounds to kill one, so be prepared. This instruction
also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's
voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair
off and split up.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or
crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead
as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a
loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET
THE HELL OUT.

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not
check for short circuits. Just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's
probably a good reason for it. Do not stop and look
around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology. Even
if you're sure you know what you're doing. Especially
if you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip
or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite
the fact that you are running and the monster is
merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough
to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit
uncharacteristic behavior, such as hissing,
fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness,and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations,
some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street,
Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you
recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any
small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely
road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house
to phone for help. If you think that it's at all
strange because you thought you had half a tank of
gas, shoot yourself instead - You are going to die
anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a
cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws.
This applies to houses that had previous inhabitants
who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

my favorite current snl character: penelope

2007-10-01T19:05:00.000-07:00

i'm like so much more popular than her.... and i have so many friends.. lots of friends.. and i have been to so many parties... and i have a brother named jeff too... and i invented the hangnail... and i have given birth to kittens...

to my sons:

2007-09-29T12:38:00.001-07:00

i'm not a perfect person. there are many things i wish i didn't do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you.
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt you, it's something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, that's why i need you to hear

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

to my Love:

2007-09-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passin' through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand, you've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is comin' true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Yeah

Now I'm just rollin' home into my lovers arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

another gem from kelly...

2007-09-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

betch, watch this video!

(and check out who the tattoo artist is)

another year..

2007-09-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

how can it be another year that you have been gone? how is it that the world still turns without you? that the sun shines, the moon glows? it is so hard to think that life goes on while you aren't here.. and i can't believe it has been five years since you left..

It don't matter to the sun
If you go or if you stay
I know the sun is gonna rise
Shine down on another day
There will still be a tomorrow
Even if you choose to leave
cause it don't matter to the sun
It matters to me

It ain't gonna stop the world
If you walk out that door
This old world will just keep on turning round
Like it did the day before
cause see to them it makes no difference
It just keeps on keepin' time
cause it ain't gonna stop the world
But it'll be the end of mine

What can I say
What can I do
I'm still in love
So without you...

It don't matter the moon
If your not in my life
No, the moon will just keep hangin' round
Like it's just another night
Find another place to shine on down
On some other lover's dreams
cause it don't matter the moon
But it sure does matter to me

i miss you, mom... every.. day.......

one more for the road..

2007-09-08T05:39:00.001-07:00

last night was the start of the end.. it was my youngest son's first football game of his senior year in high school.. he is on the bass line for SHS..

there's about a million mixed emotions i have about it.. i am surprised that he (i) can be old enough to be beginning a final year in high school.. i am sad cause used to be there would be lots of family and friends around me at the games, and now it's not like that.. i am excited to see chris perform - he is the bass line section leader, and so talented.. i am reminiscent of days gone by when my older son marched, and it makes me feel a sense of loss because i hardly ever see him anymore.. i feel pain because my mom should be sitting with me at the game, and she isn't.. but mostly i feel pride when i see my son working so hard to be the best he can be, and then when i see the fruits of all his labors, i am full of love for him..

last night, sitting in the mckinney isd stadium, surrounded by hundreds of fans, i realized how alone i was there.. i miss my mom at these events.. she would go to every single one of my kids' games, along with my dad.. every one.. and we would sit together, never watching the football, mind you - just the band.. but sitting there talking about our week, laughing, eating peanuts or popcorn, being best friends..

since she died on sept 16 2002, i have basically gone to my kids' events alone.. there are times when family comes out, for sure.. but i know everyone has their own stuff going, and i know it's hard to make it to every event.. i just miss the times when there were people with me there all the time - my parents, friends (parents of my sons' friends), my younger son with me in the stands..

my parents were such a huge part of football season, and although my dad will probably come to a few of the games, it isn't the same.. he usually complains the whole time he is there, and it sorta makes it stressful for me.. but it's mom i miss most.. my girl.. my friend.. my mom..

last night, when i left after half time, i was so proud of my son (like always, really).. and it made me feel good for him, because he has so many friends, and he has so much ahead of him - he is at a beginning.. he is a bright son, and i couldn't ask for more in a kiddo.. he has grown up so much since mom died, and he has gotten so much stronger, and more determined than ever to make himself into what he wants to be as a man.. that's good..

it's good, too, that there are still many, many games ahead.. and i still have those ahead of me.. i really don't wanna see marching season go away.. been doing it since josh was in middle school (and he is 22 now)... but i am taking lots of pics, and thank goodness my son is so good about ol' mom hanging around taking pics.. and i have my memories of days gone by being surrounded at the games with laughter and support.. and i know there will be games when i am not alone, too.. and that's a good thing..

next week, they play in frisco.. then in a couple of weeks, the normal season starts, and they will be back in the garland area.. to the stadiums i have spent years going to.. and it will be exciting to see their show improve and form into an award-winning half time.. i will be proud to be there every week.. full of memories, and full of hope for the future..

go mustangs!

go kiddo!

it's a good thing..

2007-08-24T06:21:00.001-07:00

no wonder it's so hard to fall back asleep - when, after having to get up in the middle of the night to visit the little girl's room for a moment, i get back into bed and spoon up next to Mister Man.. and a certain hard "something" presses into my ass every few seconds on its own accord..

makes me wiggle so slow even closer to his warm body to get more of the effect.. and makes it almost impossible to not reach back and wake him up..

oh yes, it is a very good thing, indeed..

same as it never was..

2007-08-22T06:26:00.001-07:00

yesterday was the start of a huge project for me: my 1st tattoo sleeve!!

it actually began back in march, when we commissioned an awesome artist/tattooist (terry mayo of cat tattoo in addison), to create a sick alice in wonderland sleeve for me.. he listened to all our ideas, and had a few of his own to add..

we went back in may to check out his finished artwork, and we just about fell to the floor! the drawing was about a million times sicker than we had ever imagined... basically, it's a very naughty alice who, OOPS, has decapitated the cheshire cat.. the tat also features a scary mad hatter, the aforementioned head of the cat, and the white rabbit (with a nipple ring).. there are other cool things, like the card guards, and mushrooms with faces, and skulls on gates.. and before it's all done, the caterpillar (who ARE you?) and the queen of hearts will be added..

so next came the waiting for the funds to accrue.. and we waited.. waited.. (he is very expensive, and i'm just a poor girl)...

thanks to some saving, and amex's generous start-up bonus, i was able to finally set up an appointment for yesterday.. terry blocked off 6 hours for me, and i headed over to cat..

we got there at noon, and it took a little while for terry to size the stencil just right, and for him to place it on my arm.. so about 1pm, he was ready to rock and roll on my right arm..

mind you, the most i have ever sat for the needle before was at tops two hours.. so the thought of sitting for six just about scared the ink outta me!

amazingly enough, though, i was able to take four hours of torture.. and truth be known, the pain wasn't really that intense until the last 30 minutes or so when all my endorphins said BUH-BYE..

he kept Doug and i pretty entertained while he was working.. he is a bit of a character, and definitely easy to talk to.. funny guy who likes zepplin..

the other artists in the shop are just as cool, and we enjoyed talking to them during the day as well.. they would all come in from time to time to check out terry's progress on this awesome piece of art..

by 5pm, i had had it, and terry finished up for the day.. he got my whole arm lined and ready to go for the next stage.. it's gonna be a while before i can get back in (unless some of you wanna make tattoo contributions!), but as soon as this heals, i KNOW i'm gonna be itching to get back in under the needle..

lawd, wish i could go today!!!

as soon as i can, i will post some pics..

dear sports, inc ...

2007-07-03T06:09:00.001-07:00

i've been waiting all day to write so that i could get my thoughts straight..

let it be known: the ONLY reason we ever came to sports, inc was because of MARK ADKINS..

we have been faithful friends and supporters of his for over 3 years now, and have followed him to every karaoke venue he has had in that time..

we are not passers-by who just happened upon your establishment.. we did not bring friends and family to your place just by happenstance.. we came only because mark's show was there..

in the few weeks since you opened, we have been to sports, inc at least once a week.. and in that time, we experienced underpoured AND overpriced drinks each time we ordered drinks (and we order a LOT of drinks).. meals took over an hour to be served, and this last weekend, mine was COLD.. the tabs were always wrong - last weekend we were charged for our friends' food.. drink orders were delivered wrong.. the very first time we ever visited your place, we were served WATERED-DOWN tequila shots (how stupid do you think we are that we would not have noticed?)..

we put up with ALL of this for one reason: MARK ADKINS and his karaoke show - not just ANY karaoke show, or just ANY KJ - but the best show put on by the best KJ in the dallas area.. (have you not seen or heard about all his awards for his show??)..

believe me, we have been to MANY karaoke shows in the dallas area in the last four years, and mark's is the only show which is not only FAIR, but is also FUN.. he has the most extensive, up-to-date song list of any KJ i have sung for.. he is always fair, and above board, and you should be ashamed for treating him the way you have..

you should also be ashamed for the way you have treated your customers.. we brought many people - apologizing the whole time to them for your shortcomings - just so that we could attend mark's show.. and many people from mark's previous show followed him - not just a few - but MANY..
and i assure you - that we will ALL follow him to his next show, which will most assuredly be a success..

we will not be back.. and we will definitely be passing on the above sentiments to all our friends, families, and acquaintances..

church service last night..

2007-06-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

it's funny how one actually pays for 75 cent tequila shots the next day..

Doug and i went to the church in deep ellum last night on a whim.. got there close to 10pm, and stayed bout 3 hours.. it has been a while since we have gone, and i tell ya - we had a blast! because i am such a rocker, the music was just a-ight.. very much industrial, techno, dance.. but lawd, we DID do some dancing..

it's so good to watch my Man dance.. he has some hot moves, and he looks soo fine moving.. i feel so free dancing there - i love being able to express myself through dancing..

like i mentioned above, we did well tequila shots (8 of 'em by 11pm and only 75 cents a shot!).. it wasn't as horrible as i thought it might have been (til this morning, that is!).. and they put grins on our faces, and naughtiness in our heads..

one thing i love about the church is people-watching.. there are some very interesting people there! all kinds of dress - goth, retro, trashy, semi-nude - even ghost buster uniforms.. and i love love LOVE watching the girls dance.. there was one hot stripper-looking girl who got up in the top middle stage and danced, and damn she was very sexy.. also, a cutie in a cowboy hat with big tits.. too yummy.. i wish i were somewhat daring, so that i could approach a girl.. just too shy, i guess.. so i miss out sometimes on getting to know a girl (which i would very much like to do)..

anywho..

we had a great time, and i hope we can go back very soon.. this sunday night, the cadaver cabaret will be performing, and i would love to see them.. should be a naughty fun time!

muffins!

2007-04-18T05:35:00.000-07:00

you know you want 'em..

love the peanuts sweater!

2007-04-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

Remember the Turtles? "Happy Together"? Here they are in 1990 describing the business side of their music career.

until everyone of them come home, this is for the soldiers..

2007-03-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Drowning Pool, has released a new music video in conjunction with the USO for their new track written exclusively for the troops entitled, "Soldiers." The video features live footage from the band's last USO-sponsored trip to Kuwait and Iraq. Download the song at the USO's my space ....

Beware what you trade your skittles for...

2007-03-25T12:02:00.001-07:00

tit for tat...

2007-03-19T23:49:00.001-07:00

a great balance in the cosmos:

He watches "hair" for/with me...

i get hair in my mouth from Him...

fuckin' all is right with the world...

hardware, upgrade!

2007-03-19T08:23:00.001-07:00

last night while Doug was getting some new ink, i got a little something of my own.. a little, shiny, oh so nice piercing!

only my closest friends can ask me where the new piercing is.. or you can ask Doug - the answer will be right on his lips..

others can prolly guess by the smile on my (and Doug's) face..

10 piercings, 13 tattoos.. and counting...

packing up..letting go..

2007-03-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

for the past 'a little while', i have been going through my stuff (my junk) in order to get rid of a bunch of forgotten/unused/totally unnecessary "treasures" i have accumulated over the last several decades of my life.. i thought it would be easy to quickly rifle through the boxes of stuff and pare it down to a teeny box of particularly principal, yet precious, pearls.. ah, but not so, for you see, my heart is being tugged at by pooh, mom, music, kids, etc etc etc.. and i am finding i am just transferring from one box to another all the things that i have had hidden for a long time..

for over 20 years, i have been keeping my yearly pocketbook calendars, and they are filled with happenings, births, deaths, dates, naughty things, special life-altering events, and schedules, as well as mundane things..

this morning, i came across the one for 2002, the year my mom was diagnosed with(and murdered by) cancer..

long ass fucking pause to hate cancer AGAIN..

you see, i had an awakening at the end of 1999 and into the beginning of 2000 that my life was gonna be over before i knew it, and if i didn't wanna wake up at the age of 80 and wonder WTF happened to my whole life, and why i had slept through it, that i had better get off my fat ass and make things happen for me.. finally..

well, i sorta went crazy.. i became someone i am glad for a handful of reasons that i did, but for a myriad of others reasons i was someone i despised at the same time.. i told ya - crazy.. i won't go into it, because from december 1999 til january 2003, lord, i swear i could write a book and have it published about what happened, and it wouldn't be pretty..

i say all that to say this: my mother died at a point in my life where i was so amazingly fucked up, and i totally missed out on being the kind of daughter she needed..

she was still the kind of mom that every daughter dreams for - kind, loving, funny, nonjudgemental, shopperiffically inclined, my concert buddy.. she didn't change her inner being when she was suffering through months of chemo.. she was still HER..

i was someone else.. yet, i was me..

oh sure, i still saw her at least once a week.. and i called her several times a week.. and she and i went and saw paul mccartney in may 2002.. we played canasta like fiends, and we laughed and cried and wondered why all this was happening to her.. but she didn't know what i had become, and thank you God that she didn't.. (does she know now what i was?)

but anywho... i digress.. back to this morning.. back to the box with the calendar from 2002..

5 years have passed since i wrote in that book.. and i look at it, and it's not the things i wrote in there.. but it's the things that are missing that hurt the most..

like.. where was the entry when mom told me she wasn't worried about herself- that she was only worried about how we were gonna be when she died.. you see, mom KNEW she was gonna die..

i did, too..

i could tell..

but still, i messed up, and spent that whole year being .. well, being awful.. and trying to convince myself that mom wasn't gonna die.. that we would still have christmas like we always did.. that she and i would go to northpark again and shop for hours, buying lancome and eating at le madeline's.. that we would go see elton again when he came back in town.. that she would just be THERE when i wanted her to be..

but cancer had other plans.. and cancer won.. and cancer can go to hell..

and the wounds today are just are horrible and hurting as they were back in september 2002 when my mom let go, and left..

i guess the best thing about all that is that not too long after she was taken, that i changed my life.. love changed my life..

aside from the love and home-ness of my 2 boys, i had spent years without love.. i had spent years without giving love.. and i don't know if if was God, or fate, or luck, or just the way it is, but love was given back to me on january 22, 2003..

so i place the 2002 calendar in another box, with many other calendars that chronicle some of my up and down life, and i close the box.. too much for one day..

and i make a solemn prayer of a promise, that in every day life - not just when someone is on the brink of death - i will be the kind of person that mom would be proud of.. that i won't miss out on opportunites to be true and right when faced with terrible ordeals.. that i will show love, just like she always did.. and that i will just be THERE for those in my life..

forgive me, mom.. you deserved so much better..

a huge WOOT to mark adkins!

2007-02-25T18:47:00.000-08:00

our good friend, and most AWESOME KJ deluxe of himself, Mark Adkins, has cause to be celebrating tonight! in case you aren't familiar with him, he spins karaoke at Bleachers in garland, tx on wednesday and saturday nights.. and today he won a plethora of totally cool awards ... check out his winnings:

***Most Supportive Karaoke Crowds - Bleachers

***Best Place To Take A Karaoke Virgin - Bleachers

***Best Karaoke Location - Bleachers

***Best Props For Karaoke - Mark Adkins Productions

***Best Technical Equipment For Karaoke - Mark Adkins Productions

***Best Variety Song Selection - Mark Adkins Productions

***Most Talented Singing KJ - Mark Adkins, Mark Adkins Productions

***Karaoke Company Of The Year - Mark Adkins Productions

***KJ OF THE YEAR!!! - Mark Adkins, Mark Adkins Productions

WOW, my friend - i am so thrilled for you!

anyone in the dallas area who enjoys truly fair and well-run karaoke show (not to mention FUN FUN FUN) should check out THE MAN at bleachers.. i promise you will have a great time!

again...

CONGRATS to MARK!!!!!

how to save "Lost"....

2007-02-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

i have been watching "Lost" from the very beginning, and have been totally hooked up.. but LAWD with all the short 4-episode "seasons" and all the repeats and all the freakin' questions with NO ANSWERS, i am beginning to just be "eh" about it.. thing is - i reallllllllly wanna like it.. but the writers, producers, the WHOEVERs need to start stepping up and give their viewers back the magic of the first season, or i might just have to switch over to "Medium" or "CSI NY" or something else inane like that (kill me now).. anywho, here are some suggestions i found that just MIGHT save "Lost":

my valentine's gift to You

2007-02-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

would i be pleasing to You like this, Sir? if i were to kneel before You, totally under Your domination and control.. in Your hands.. in Your mind.. in Your heart.. so compliant and submissive.. waiting and waiting for Your decision.. what is my fate? does the cat purr or hiss? does it even matter? isn't it You who decides, and delivers?

YES.. it is.. i accept my fate, my life, my pleasure, my pain.. because all is given by You.. and it can only be good, because it comes from You.. i live and breathe by Your word and control.. even pain is a gift, if given by You.. i kneel even now, waiting on You.. please, Sir, make it sure, make it real, make it fire, make it ice.. the gift of my submission equals the gift of Your Dominance.. the dance has begun... thank you, my Master..

Zach Galifianakis.. too funny

2007-02-01T15:22:00.000-08:00

check him out on my space

FOAL unplugged

2007-01-26T08:18:00.000-08:00

lawd i wanna be amy lee

every little thing she does is peanuts..

2007-01-19T07:56:00.001-08:00

looks like "daddy needs a drink" again..

2007-01-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

Bullets and Octane - "Caving In"

i fuckin' love the bullets... fuckin' love the octane.. and omg fuckin' love love love the guitar player... specially as my nails were scratching down his back while Doug watched..

rock n roll dreams, baby

HBDTY!

2006-12-25T21:52:00.000-08:00

have an awesome 40th birthday, babe!!! you are such an amazing man, and i love you bout a trillion (or 7)..

here's a little gift from our friends who are safe in hiding (for now) in chicago:

HFBDTY,YSM!!

sending love..

2006-12-25T14:41:00.000-08:00

to roman.. your friends and fans are all around you, hugging you til you are ready to continue your quest of world domination..

merry christmas, bitches!

2006-12-25T07:05:00.000-08:00

i don't think there is a better christmas movie than "rent".. it tells the story of friends and lovers through a year in their lives - from christmas to christmas.. and i wanna share some of it with you..

to my sons: i should tell you how awesome you both are - you'll see, boys that you are more than what you own..

to my friends: i wanna go out tonight! maybe we can sing one song GLORY!

to my love: throughout our seasons of love, i will cover you and be your life support.. you light my candle (in more ways than one).. and baby, today is definitely for you and you and you you and you!

because you fucking need it:

2006-12-24T14:36:00.000-08:00

and so do i..

merry christmas!

a christmas poem

2006-12-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front lines,
That separate you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... An American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

jenny watch...

2006-12-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

lawd we didn't go visit jenny or kirstie today..

bad girl, too many biscuits!

check back next saturday for the gruesome details of 2 weeks of badness....

my christmas wish...

2006-12-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

this is what i am hoping Doug will give me for christmas:

jenny watch...

2006-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

164 days in --- have gained 1/2 of a pound since december 9..

total loss so far: 43.8 pounds

merry christmas from camp freddy

2006-12-15T08:41:00.001-08:00

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-12-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

snowy ferrety cuteness!! awwwwwwwwwwwww!!

jenny watch...

2006-12-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

157 days in --- have lost 1.4 pounds since december 2..

total loss so far: 44.3 pounds

*shock*

colorgenics..

2006-12-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

i found this on one of my favorite blogs, New York Moments, and was amazed to see some home truths.. try it.. here are my results:

You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate (an aside - i would think this might apply to a potential employer since i already have an amazing personal relationship). At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

Enough is enough - but the problems never seem to stop. They never stop. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit - you bounce back time and time again - you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that 'belief' system that in the end, everything will turn out OK - and you are right -it will!

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realise all your ambitions.

depressed..

2006-12-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

and wanting to just eat everything ... good thing i am completely destitute or i would.. pantry and frig are empty, so i guess that's a good thing..

hape it hape everything hape being sick hape having no job hape being poor hape being fat hape christmas cause i can't buy my kids anything hape being such a fucking failure hape not having my kids hape jerry springer hape illness hape being ignored hape being mediocre hape me

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-12-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

cat-a-bunga!!!!!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

jenny watch...

2006-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

150 days in --- have lost 2.7 pounds since november 25..

total loss so far: 42.9 pounds

hmmm, don't know how i did that, cause i had a bad eating week... this next week will be a challenge since i am now without a job - my routine - and i have a ton O free time.. will really try to get to the gym a lot, and will focus on jenny and not marie callender.. hahahaha...

World AIDS Day

2006-12-01T09:59:00.000-08:00

Around forty million people are living with HIV throughout the world - and that number increases in every region every day.

World AIDS Day, December 1st, is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV and AIDS. This year, it's up to you, me and us to stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

What can we do?

Take action!!

HIV is increasing in every region in the world. Yet it is a preventable disease.

You, me, us - we CAN stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

Here are some things you can do:

Break the silence - Challenge ignorance and prejudice: wear a red ribbon, speak out or educate others.

Campaign - Help prevent millions of deaths from AIDS every year: campaign with us to get lifesaving HIV treatment to those who need it.

Donate now - The money you donate to the National AIDS Trust will help stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

Fundraise - Take a collection box, organise a red themed event or do an overseas challenge to raise money for HIV and AIDS.

Get the red ribbon - Wear a red ribbon on World AIDS Day and encourage others to help raise awareness and challenge prejudice.

Tell your story - Tell what YOU are going to do. Your story could inspire others to take action.

--------------

Turning the Tide against HIV/AIDS

“There are only two possible responses to suffering on this scale. We can turn our eyes away in resignation and despair, or we can take decisive, historic action to turn the tide against this disease….”
—President George W. Bush

President George W. Bush has made fighting the international HIV/AIDS pandemic a U.S. priority. The U.S. President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS (Emergency Plan/PEPFAR) is the largest commitment ever by a single nation toward an international health initiative — a 5-year, $15 billion, multifaceted approach to combating the disease in more than 120 countries around the world. The strategy places a special emphasis on 15 focus nations in Africa, the Caribbean, and Asia that represent approximately half of the world’s infections.

---------------

HIV/AIDS affects every single one of us - whether we know it or not.. we MUST be diligent in keeping the word out there that we CAN fight this..

peace, health, and love to you all..

the time has come...

2006-12-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

to say goodbye to my 12-yr job... really hard to do... don't wanna... i'm already here even though the bridges were icy this morning - sitting alone cause no one is in yet.. it's gonna be a hard day.. we are all going to lunch together today for the last time, and tonight there is gonna be a huge party with tons of blast-from-the-past coworkers and friends.. i'm even gonna sing for them - hopefully it will be encouraging to us all:

This time around I'll take the moment
This time around I'll make it last
I've had my share of wasted moments
But this time around I'm holding fast
This time around I will be stronger
Stronger than I've been before
I'll find the sky and soar
This time around

This time around I will be daring
I'm going where I've never been
This time around luck will come knocking
And when he does I'll let him in
This time around - No second places
I'm showing aces - I'll win
I'm gonna have it all
This time around

Love, I'm gonna find you
Happiness, I'm right behind you
I've had my share of crying
But there's no denying I'm on my way

This time around I'll taste the glory
And I'm not going down without a fight
This is my life, my own story
And this time around I'll get it right
This time around, I'm gonna find it
Look out world, watch me shine, shine
I'm gonna grab that big brass ring
And I'm gonna make it mine
This time around, I'm gonna make it mine

-----

whatever..

cause that's not how i feel right now.. i am very down, and just wish this wasn't happening.. it's scary thinking that come monday, i won't have a job to go to.. i have worked all my adult life, and a lot of my teen years too, so this is gonna be different..

of course, i will get another job.. hopefully in time to start early january (i wanna take december off).. and i hope that i can get some stuff done while i am off...

blah..
don't wanna..

oh well - that's life.. and that's coporate america..

i'll stand by you..

2006-11-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
and you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess could make me love you less.

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
and don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong...

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you...

-----

you are the love of my life, and i thank God every day for you!

it's amazing to me (and i know i have said this many times before) that we found each other when we did.. even though we were living our own lives, we were on the same exact path - be it wrong or right, and we just HAD to run into each other somehow along that crooked way..

and we did..

and each day since that cold evening of january 22, 2003 when i first saw your beautiful face, you have captivated me.. and you have possessed me.. and you have loved me, and stood by me.. and you have shown me more love than i thought possible..

how could i do anything else but love you back? you are light, and joy, and life.. and you are love..

i adore you, and i will always stand by you, and will always have your back..

uncertain days?

always there for you..

hard times?

always loving you..

the best years of our lives?

yes, just as it is now - always..

the good wife's guide...

2006-11-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

just in time for the christmas season, from Good Housekeeping 1955:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

5. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

7. Be happy to see him.

8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

10. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

11. Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

12. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

13. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

14. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

15. A good wife always knows her place.

4 more days...

2006-11-27T07:03:00.000-08:00

it's really getting down to the wire here.. there's only a few of us left, and none of us are working too much at all.. it's weird - a little over 12 years of working here - and it's all gonna be over friday..

what will i miss? i guess just the comfy feeling of knowing what i'm doing here.. the friends i've made.. the five weeks of vacation..

what will i not miss? the horrible commute - either on bush or lbj.. both SUCK.. my psycho boss, who can be the nicest person one day, and a raving controlling micromanaging bitch the next.. the bugs in the bathroom (although i hafta admit it - i WILL miss the rolly-polly cutesy bugs).. the shit on the floor in the WOMEN'S bathroom (WTF??).. the substandard office and outdated equipment..

all in all it's been a good run, though.. i got to work from home for six years, and i loved that (in more ways than one, too - bad girl that i am).. i met one of my bestest rocker chick friends who now comes to karaoke and concerts with us.. the almost nonexistant dress code was nice, too.. the freedom to express myself through my dress and tattoos and piercings was very nice..

i hope wherever i land next will be as enlightened in regards to letting me be ME.. whatever that is.. and i hope for a killer job making tons o' dough.. ahem.. just wish the looking part was over with..

anyone have a job for me making the bucks while letting me play??

rrrrrrrrrrright...

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-11-27T06:55:00.000-08:00

post-thanksgiving coma! awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

jenny watch...

2006-11-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

143 days in --- have gained four ounces since november 18..

total loss so far: 40.2 pounds

just a thought:

2006-11-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

...if the Indians would have killed a cat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy for dinner...

-----

i have dave to thank for that one..

Top Twenty Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving but Aren't...

2006-11-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

taken from my post last thanksgiving (i be lazy today to THINK of something new):

20. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

19. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

18. "Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

17. "Don't play with your meat."

16. "Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."

15. "Do you really think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

14. "You still have a little bit on your chin."

13. "Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

12. "I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

11. "How long will it take after you stick it in?"

10. "You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

9. "Just lay back and take it easy...I'll do the rest."

8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to
hold her down."

3. "It's cool whip time!"

2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

. . . and the number one thing that sounds dirty at
Thanksgiving but isn't . .

1. "It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-11-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

i love this!!!!! cute cute cute!! and awwwwwwwwwwwwww-aw-licious!

jenny watch...

2006-11-18T09:22:00.000-08:00

136 days in --- have gained one whole pound since november 11..

total loss so far: 40.6 pounds

arg.

i think the drinking did me in this week, plus the thanksgiving spread at work... eeeeeeeek

gotta SO watch it this week of the dressing, cream cheese corn, sweet potatoes, punkin pie...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

i mean --- YUCK!!!!

just how sick is this?

2006-11-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. Its the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

The book is published by ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers run by Regan.

Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.

----

i wonder how hot it's gonna be in hell for him...

lest we forget:

2006-11-14T06:52:00.000-08:00

for all my friends:

it's charrrrrrllllllieeeeeeeeeeeee going to the candy mountain - the candy mounnnnntainnnnn! full of joy and (that sound jason makes) joyness..

if you don't like this, then SHUN, SHUNNNNNN...NNNNNUH

here ya go, Honey...

2006-11-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

...the reason i like watching 'ugly betty':

perfect salma hayek --- MUY CALIENTE!!!

makes me LOCO!

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-11-13T10:24:00.000-08:00

hoverdogs!! awwwwwwwwww!!!

in my life...

2006-11-12T16:04:00.000-08:00

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed.
Some forever not for better,
Some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all.

But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think about them.
In my life I love you more.

---

no matter what happens in my life - health, sickness, joy (joyness), despair, wealth, poverty...

no matter who i meet in my life - friends, strangers, dear ones, hated ones...

no matter where i am in my life - dallas, japan, new york, cancun...

no matter when in my life i have to say goodbye - today, tomorrow, ten years, tweny or more...

one thing is for certain:

in my life - you have made me happy, and you continue to make me happy.. and i have never in my life experienced such unconditional and lasting love as i am experiencing now with you.. and no matter what, who, where, or when happens in and to and on and around my life, i know i can face it because more than any of this - oh my god, i love you more..

for you..

2006-11-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

all day long, all night long.. 11:11 on 11/11

ily seeeeeeeeeely

jenny watch...

2006-11-11T08:18:00.000-08:00

129 days in --- have lost 2.2 pounds since november 4..

total loss so far: 41.6 pounds

lucky lucky me this week..

botched jokes of the week...

2006-11-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

man, it's been a bad week for these jokesters -

what a chuckle-head:

bad form, faith:

honestly, i didn't see the punchline of this one coming:

and of course, in this case, the joke is on US:

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-11-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

i have been posting 'monday's attack of the awwwwww!!' for a while now, and failed to explain the criteria i use to choose these darling, cuddly wuddly, cutesy-wootsie animals.. there is an actual formula which determines which sweeties get to be called "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww-i-riffic"..

well, wait no longer, cause here they are - the 27 rules of cuteness:

1. put your paw up

2. look helpless

3. have an inquisitive look

4. more than one species of animals flopping around together is cute

5. fisheye lens + baby animal = always cute

6. mimic humans

7. a thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is always cute

8. it's cute if your furniture doubles as a meal

9. piles of a cute thing jack up a cuteness rating exponentially

10. if you haven't grown into your feet yet, it's cute

11. cute animal + food = even cuter

12. fuzz + floppy limbs = cutesy

13. "juicy" eyes and noses

14. if an everyday, small item makes you look even smaller, it's cute

15. small ear to head ratio - too cute!

16. awwww shoot - nevermind...

17. have itty bitty ears

18. have a teeny tiny tail

19. dainty paws are just darn cute

20. showing those dainty paw pads is so cute

21. eye capsules are bizarrely cute

22. curl up your paw

23. those knobby knees make you cute

24. suction cups on your feet are tres cute

25. dangle your paw - awwwww, that's cute!

26. if you have four legs, and can tuck yourself in, you just might be cute!

27. sleepy eyes are just da bomb of cute-i-tude!

a week off..

2006-11-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

Doug and i are off all week from work.. we have no plans other than eating one of the days at the place we first met almost 4 years ago (pappasitos), and just hangin' and seeing a movie or two..

work is wearing me down, and i am stressed about trying to find a job.. i haven't had to look for a job, well, EVER! either i just stumbled into something when i was a lot younger, or i have been courted.. so i am new at this, and so far, not doing so well..

tons of other pressures are on us now, too.. so a week off just to rest and recover and love is truly needed..

jenny watch...

2006-11-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

122 days in --- have lost 3.2 pounds since october 28..

total loss so far: 39.4 pounds

almost 40 lbs... woo hoooooooo!

fuckin' wah

2006-11-03T12:49:00.000-08:00

to any of my friends who may read this, please excuse this sad little pity-fest i have written here, and just go on with what you were doing - don't even bother to read - this is just me venting - and being pissed off at no one but ME..

pay no attention to the man behind this comfortless curtain, please..

--------------

ever been at a place where it's so hard to breathe that you think you might just have only one breath left, and even that one is about gone? that's where i am..

i am thinking back on my life, and realizing what an arrogant fool i have been.. surely nothing could touch me - not ME, the queen of all i see.. such a stupid fool.. i knew everything, and decided everything, and made everything that now befalls upon me truly a product of my own doing.. a motherfuckin' speeding freight train of my own medicine is speeding its way towards me, and i am like a dear (and no, i didn't mispell 'deer' here) caught in headlights, and lord don't i just look hilarious now?

slam the latest metallica offering if you will, but oh my god, did james hit it on the head when he wrote: "my lifestyle determines my death style".. no truer words were ever written.. and even though i am not facing death at this moment, i do realize every day is one day closer.. and i have been a great enabler..

and i have let myself down.. and my kids.. and my Man.. and my family.. and and and.. and i guess since i have in the past had no regard at all for myself, life is gonna have a little fun with me now, and i tell ya, "Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out"...

gee, thanks for the 'help', but i am doing just chippies with this - you just sit this one out, life.. i tell ya, i have ESP on this one so just sit the fuck down..

god, i need meds, don't i?

shut up, traci, and smile, make 'em think you're happy..

: ) .......... there - better?

wouldn't mom be so proud of me..

2006-11-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel

Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn

So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only He holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally

Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time

So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I cry out to God
Seeking only His decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison

Urban Word of the Day

2006-11-01T07:05:00.000-08:00

SHORT DEFINITIONS:

guitar face: The look of pain, ecstasy or gas while playing the guitar.

january joiner: Joining the gym in January, over it by February.

gangsta lean: Driver holds the wheel with his left hand, bobs his head, bumps to the beat.

ho ho ho: Santa's cry, or three prostitutes.

shoulder surfing: Chatting it up, but always scoping someone better to talk to.

dandruff: One who always ditches, or "flakes" on group activities.

safety buzz: Drinking so you have an excuse for the trouble you might get into later.

word out: Marks the end of a conversation and your departure. Opposite of "word up."

earjacking: Eavesdropping on a conversation that you have no business hearing.

dinner whore: A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift.

rock star parking: The rare occurrence of obtaining a parking space directly outside the door of a bar, club, or restaurant.

halloween, roman dirge style:

2006-10-31T09:02:00.000-08:00

this is halloween, this is halloween!!

2006-10-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

how better to celebrate halloween than with the pumpkin king himself, marilyn manson, along with the prince, tim burton? boooooooo!!

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-10-30T08:12:00.000-08:00

cuties of scariness!!

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

1 day til halloween!!

2006-10-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

daaaaaaaay-um, zombie is HOT... (love dirty boys!)

2 days til halloween!!

2006-10-29T07:50:00.000-08:00

i love a man in a corset and thigh-highs, shaking his ass... mr curry, you can time warp with me anytime!

3 days til halloween!!

2006-10-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

a 2-fer:

first, tim burton's 'vincent'

second, the short film "paranoid" ... based on "Paranoid: A Chant," a 100-line poem by stephen king originally published in the 1985 short story anthology "Skeleton Crew."

the poem is a first-person narrative from the diary of a paranoid schizophrenic person.. the character complains of persecution from "the old woman in the room above has put an electric suction cup on the floor..." "the waitress says its salt, but I know arsenic when it's put before me..." and many more horrors.. when she is served food with mustard she thinks it is "to mask the bitter odor of almonds," presumably a reference to cyanide.. according to the poem, the victim has amassed "500 notebooks with 500 pages in each one" and records all the wrongs done unto them in the books.. she thinks that her enemies are part of a massive government conspiracy and mentions the FBI and the CIA..

but don't we all??

jenny watch...

2006-10-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

115 days in --- have lost 1.4 pounds since october 21..

total loss so far: 36.2 pounds

well, a little better this week - at least i lost SOMETHING... i still had a very incredibly stressful week full of personal and business-related problems.. seems like this was the worst week ever, well, since mom died.. i really do fall back on old and dear habits when i am this stressed and depressed.. so i ate a lot of things i shouldn't..

oh well..

at least i got through this week.. now gotta make it through the next one.. and the next.. and the next.. and..

dave watch...

2006-10-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

i know all two of you who read my blog have been just on pins and needles waiting on updates on dave, and i realize i have been remiss in keeping all of yourselfnesses in the know... well, fret no longer, for here is the latest:

dave's back is doing better (i know you have been worried to DEF bout it), but poor thing has to wear a white back brace.. eeeeeeeeeeek!! fortunately for us, he shows us the brace... oh lord, and in the showing of the braceness, we get to see his bod.. ouch!!! (believe me, when i saw this, i was rooting for him to show more!)

dave has a doll of himself!! he says: "This thing kind of freaked me out a little. It really has that Team America vibe to it. I suppose that considering the proceeds from this 'item' go to support The the American Lung Association, I can look the other way as it is for a great cause. Especially considering the fact that description says, 'In memory of Sandy.' Well, Sandy, wherever you are... I am both happy and honored to take one for the greater good. Sure, I might have nightmares for many months to come, but then again, maybe I'll finally get a shot at that hot World Police chick! I hear she'll do ANYTHING! Freedom isn't free, bitches!"

seems that mr navarro has been seen with none other than his ex's ex, dennis rodman.. here's his take on this video: "Last night I went to Area Night Club with Todd and a few friends. I ran into Dennis Rodman for the second night in a row and we went outside to have a chat. While we were outside, this video was caught. I have to say, it REALLY DOES look like we are up to no good... Like I am about to hand him a fire arm or sell a gram or two of cocaine. HAHAHA. Maybe he had asked for a condom? Maybe he needed to see my ID. Who can say? Funny shit to say the least. You can go ahead and insert your own caption. One thing is for sure, he certainly makes my 5-9 look like 4-3! A great time was had by all."
ahem... um, dave, it DOES look like y'all were doin' something naughty!!

and finally, it looks like lucas is a-movin' in on dave's recent main squeeze, tommy lee.. he is just devastated and says, "I mean... just like that! They throw you away like a piece of garbage for a younger, fresher, newer version. I feel so used. Sure, THEY just get 'distinguished', while WE just get old. I stay home and he goes off, gallivanting around town with someone half his age! Looks like I'll have to get a hold of that hot World Police chick!"

and that, my friends, is what's goin' on in dave's world.. love him, mean it..

4 days til halloween!!

2006-10-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

wanna watch the shinnin'?? don't mind if i dooooooooooooooooooo!!

5 days til halloween!!

2006-10-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

i love d.d.!!

6 days til halloween!!

2006-10-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

just hope the phone doesn't ring after you watch this:

today..

2006-10-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

i just want you to know that i love you and i support you and i worship you and all my thoughts and prayers and good feelings and love are with YOU today.. we are one - we are strong..

just wanted to tell you this today: no love but ours, no day but today.. you are all, and i am at your feet, loving you always..

Aishiteruyo zutto ippai

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-10-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

kissy kitties : )

awwwwwwwww!!!!

jenny watch...

2006-10-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

108 days in --- have GAINED a 1/2 pound since october 14..

total loss so far: 34.8 pounds

ok.so.i.fucked.up.

bad.

i know, 1/2 a pound isn't horrible - and i know i have still averaged more than 2 lbs per week, but to me, it's major painage! this is the first week of 15 weeks that i haven't lost weight.. and i am frickin bummed about it..

plan - hit the gym more.. stop eating CRAP.. lots of water, less alkyhall, stick to the plan.. and..

fuck a lot (as just a fun way to burn some more calories)

hmmm... sounds like a good plan... check back next saturday to see if this works..

check this out...

2006-10-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

in reading about the yahoo! time capsule, i came across information about the artistic designer of the interactive site, Jonathan Harris.. just thought i would share some of his other cool work..

Jonathan Harris is an artist working primarily on the internet.. his work involves the exploration of humans through the artifacts they leave behind on the web.. he was awarded a 2004 Fabrica Fellowship, and is the creator of such projects as We Feel Fine, 10x10, WordCount, Phylotaxis, and justcurio.us.

explore some of his other work, too - mucho fun...

one world.. many voices..

2006-10-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! is sponsoring a very cool thing: a virtual Time Capsule! for 30 days, from October 10 until November 8, Yahoo! users worldwide can contribute photos, writings, videos, audio – even drawings – to this electronic anthropology project.. this digital data will be gathered and preserved for historical purposes to teach future generations what the world was like in 2006..

in addition to submitting your own content, you can view, read, or hear the images, words, and sounds contributed by users from around the world... and you can also comment on the content you and others have submitted – and engage in a digital conversation that is just as revealing and important as any of the content you’ll witness...

by contributing, by November 8, you will have helped create a digital legacy of our times, a mosaic of revealing snapshots that will be sealed and entrusted to Smithsonian Folkways Recordings based in Washington D.C., officially taking its place in history..

also, to thank you for your contribution to the Time Capsule, you’ll be asked to help select how Yahoo! will donate $100,000 to seven global charitable organizations..

the artwork design, in my opinion, is amazing on this site.. developed by internet artist, jonathan harris..

only 19 days left to contribute! check it out!

rethinking the seven wonders of the world...

2006-10-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

only one of the ancient wonders of the world still survives (the Great Pyramid of Giza) -- and now, history lovers are being invited to cast their votes for the new seven wonders...

The 21 finalists for the New Seven Wonders of the World, alphabetically:

1 Acropolis, Athens, Greece

2 Alhambra, Granada, Spain

3 Angkor Wat temple, Cambodia

4 Chichen Itza Aztec site, Yucatan, Mexico

5 Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

6 Colosseum, Rome

7 Easter Island Statues, Chile

8 Eiffel Tower, Paris

9 Great Wall, China

10 Hagia Sophia church, Istanbul, Turkey

11 Kyomizu Temple, Kyoto, Japan

12 Kremlin/St.Basil's, Moscow

13 Machu Picchu, Peru

14 Neuschwanstein Castle, Fussen, Germany

15 Petra ancient city, Jordan

16 Pyramids of Giza, Egypt

17 Statue of Liberty, New York

18 Stonehenge, Amesbury, United Kingdom

19 Sydney Opera House, Australia

20 Taj Mahal, Agra, India

21 Timbuktu city, Mali

Urban Word of the Day

2006-10-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

truthiness

1. Noun: The quality of stating concepts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than the facts.

Origin: Stephen Colbert, "The Colbert Report," 2005

"And that brings us to tonight's word: truthiness.

"Now I'm sure some of the Word Police, the wordanistas over at Webster's, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word.' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I'm no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914? If I wanna say it happened in 1941, that's my right. I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart."

conversational usage:
"That CNN News report didn't have all of the facts, but it had a certain truthiness to it."

2. Colbert defines "truthiness" for us:

Stung by a recent Associated Press article that didn't credit him for coining the word "truthiness," Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert has struck back.

The world's oldest news organization, Colbert says, is the "No. 1 threat facing America."

On Wednesday evening, Colbert placed the AP atop the Threat Down segment of "The Colbert Report" show. What was No. 2?

Bears.

In October, on Colbert's debut episode of the "Daily Show" spinoff, the comedian defined "truthiness" as truth that wouldn't stand to be held back by facts. The word caught on, and last week the American Dialect Society named "truthiness" the word of the year.

When an AP story about the designation sent coast to coast failed to mention Colbert, he began a tongue-in-cheek crusade, not unlike the kind his muse Bill O'Reilly might lead in all seriousness.

"It's a sin of omission, is what it is," Colbert told The AP on Thursday. "You're not giving people the whole story about truthiness."

"It's like Shakespeare still being alive and not asking him what `Hamlet' is about," he said.

The Oxford English Dictionary has a definition for "truthy" dating back to the 1800s. It's defined as "characterized by truth" and includes the derivation "truthiness."

Michael Adams, a visiting associate professor at North Carolina State University who specializes in lexicology, pointed to that definition and has said Colbert's claim to inventing the word is "untrue." (Adams served as the expert opinion in the initial AP story.)

"The fact that they looked it up in a book just shows that they don't get the idea of truthiness at all," Colbert said Thursday. "You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut."

Though slight, the difference of Colbert's definition and the OED's is essential. It's not your typical truth, but, as The New York Times wrote, "a summation of what (Colbert) sees as the guiding ethos of the loudest commentators on Fox News, MSNBC and CNN."

Colbert, who referred on his program to the AP omission as a "journalistic travesty," said Thursday that it was similar to the much-criticized weapons of mass destruction reporting leading up to the Iraq War.

"Except," he said, "people got hurt this time."

2. Adverb: The amount of truth a statement has.

conversational usage:
"The truthiness of this statement is 100% because it is almost true."

3. Noun: The quality by which one purports to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or intellectual examination".

conversational usage:
Bill C: "The truthiness is whatever I want it to be."

i wuv roman dirge...

2006-10-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

my very favoritestest artist (only second to my hunka-hunka burnin' yumminess ) is roman dirge.. i love his kooky, naughty, gory, bizarre, macabre, and extremely off-the-beaten-path drawings and black sense of humor.. my fav character of his is lenore, the cute little dead girl..

she is me, i am her, koo-koo-ka-choo and all that stuff..

while lenore's actions often result in the death or injury to those around her, and in various forms of chaos, she is not a malicious character, and often thinks she is doing good - just like me... roman also has tons of other characters in the lenore comic series: especially ragamuffin, mr. gosh, kitty, and others.. but especially taxidermy... and i love them all...

enjoy:

the end of an era...

2006-10-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

from AP entertainment: The final chords reverberated off the black, sticker-covered walls of CBGB as the grungy, iconic club toasted the end of its 33-year residence in New York. Rock poet Patti Smith headlined the Sunday night concert, CBGB's last before eviction by its landlord — the Bowery Residents Committee, a homeless advocacy group that owns the property. The club will close Oct. 31.

Hundreds of music fans packed the small downtown club Sunday, while reporters hovered outside. The mood was both somber and raucous at CBGB, hailed by many as the birthplace of punk.

"This place is not a temple," Smith said during the concert. "It is what it is."
She refused to wax nostalgic, instead claiming at a pre-show news conference that doubled as a sound check that "CBGB's is a state of mind" that will carry on elsewhere for a new generation. She later noted with relish that CBGB, at 33, was the same age as Jesus.

Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea surprised the audience, joining Smith's band for much of her second set. Having turned 44 at midnight, he was treated to a loud, enthusiastic "Happy Birthday" by the band and crowd.

Much of the concert was filled with reminders of changed times. Sirius Satellite Radio broadcast the show live, and digital cameras populated the audience.

Nevertheless, Smith often struck a '60s vibe, urging change and awareness of issues such as the disputed treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. She sang covers of the Who's "My Generation" and the Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter" with obvious parallels to CBGB.

The club was founded by Hilly Kristal in 1973 and over the years helped spawn the careers of such acts as the Ramones, Blondie, the Talking Heads and Television. Though its glory days are long gone, it has remained a symbolic fixture on the Manhattan music scene.

The crowd paid tribute to many of the bands forever connected to the club — including several chants of "Hey ho, let's go!" from the Ramones' classic "Blitzkrieg Bop."

Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth of the Talking Heads were on hand, as was E Street Band guitarist Little Steven Van Zandt, who had battled to keep the club open during the protracted dispute over its future.

The Bowery Residents Committee's decision not to renew CBGB's lease when it ran out in August 2005 sparked protests, tributes and vigils for more than a year. Kristal recently gave up his legal fight to stay.

Though weary from his battle with lung cancer, he remains combative about his club's exodus from the Bowery, and said Sunday he was "very disappointed" in Mayor Michael Bloomberg for not saving the club.

Still, he says he remains focused on "generating the energy" for CBGB, which he plans to move to Las Vegas. It's very much alive as a brand, too. Kristal will transplant its store, CBGB Fashions, to a new location a few blocks away on Nov. 1.

"I'm thinking about tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and going on to do more with CBGB's," Kristal said Sunday.

Frantz said he and his wife, Weymouth, had to attend the finale because CBGB is like the "center of gravity for us." He reflected on the club where the Talking Heads got their big break.

"It just had a super cool ambiance or electric vibe ... even though it was pretty much a dump," Frantz said.

With a capacity of barely 300, CBGB was founded as a place of freedom for different musical acts. Smith said Kristal "always gave us a job, just like tonight."

"He was our champion and in those days, there were very few," she added.

Though its letters stand for the music Kristal originally planned to present there — country, bluegrass and blues — it quickly came to represent the physical epicenter of early punk and the storied downtown scene of 1970s New York.

Smith's final encore was a quiet poem listing many of the musicians who have died in the years since they played CBGB, but perhaps the more fitting send-off came right before it. The band played the punk staple "Gloria," verging back and forth between choruses of "Gloria! G-L-O-R-I-A!" and "Hey ho, let's go!"

The crowd shook its fists high for the Ramones' classic — an anthem to CBGB and so much more.

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-10-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

it's senor inchwormpants trying and trying and trying to make it across a sea of words!!

awwwwwwwwww!!!!

jenny watch...

2006-10-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

101 days in --- have lost 1/2 pound since october 7..

total loss so far: 35.6 pounds

arg

it's a good thing..

2006-10-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

...when my Man comes home and tells me all day he's been thinking of me in heels and stockings, bent over the back of his sofa, with him behind me.. it makes for some hot, hot times later that night..

it's amazing to me that after almost four years (can you believe it's gonna be 4 years soon, babe?) that everything is better.. the friendship, the laughter, the passion, the kindnesses, the hair-playing, the love... and the OH MY GOD scalding hot sex...

damn, babe.. how do you do it?

every. single. time.

how do you make pain so damn good? how do you make me go wild, and make everything new, like it's the very first time i've seen your sexy body? how do you make me lust for you with a burning desire that never stops? how do you make the crescendo of our passion burst and soar at the exact right moment? how is it you treat me like a slut and goddess and whore and lover all in the same night, and make me beg for more?

here's hoping that you are thinking of something even nastier today... i will be whatever you want...

the solution to gun violence in school: arm the teachers

2006-10-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

this won't suck..

2006-10-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

despite cheesy poster, i guar-on-teeeeeeeeee-ya this def won't suck

Urban Word of the Day

2006-10-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

foleyed

1. Verb: In addition to having your internet text sex romps made public, this term can also apply to the gay sex with younger boys. Some call it just plain gay, others, shonen ai. However, this differs from the Japanese version by the fact that there are a) no tentacles or cat ears involved, and b)hopefully these boys are legal. It also differs from mainstream homosexuality by the fact that the two males are usually in a sort of master-teacher position, and often not open about their lifestyle. This sort of action is closely related to Greek love.

conversational usage:
Blake: "Remember that sopohmore in the dorm across from ours? Yeah, professor McPhearson totally Foleyed him."

2. Verb: to have an embarassing (probably sexual) IM conversation made public

conversational usage:
Joe: "Have you seen Liz today?"

Carol: "No, I think she's hiding out. What happened?"

Joe: "Somebody posted her cybers with Todd all over campus-- she totally got foleyed."

3. Verb: An action so ridiculously stupid and heinous, as to cause serious and ugly consequences and repercussions for your family, your friends, your colleagues and yourself.

conversational usage:
Hilda: "Well of course he got fired! I've never seen anyone Foley like that before.

Bertrane: "Fired? Hell, he's lucky he didn't get his ass deported!"

4. Noun: Used to reference a person with a severe short-coming in logical thinking. Often times this person is mechanically inept and has a strong tendency to break everything within their grasp, resulting in multiple attempts to repair a single problem. This person has the most tragic luck with electrical issues. The only way for this type of person express themselves is through vulgar, disgusting, repulsive slang and slander. The most commonly used terms include, but are not limited to: Cock, Dick, Dick Salad, Cum-Bum Sauce, Anus, Rectum, Fuck, Shit, Piss Cock-Sucker. These Words in particular are key in identifying a “Foley” in your area.

conversational usage:
Horace: "What The Fuck!! Are you some kind of Foley?"

5. Noun: An unsolicted sexually suggestive email or instant message, especially from an authority figure. Most commmonly used to describe older man/teenage boy communications.

conversational usage:
Hank: "I guess Bruno isn't that hot. When he was a House Page he never even got one Foleygram."

seeeeeeeeely cats....

2006-10-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

you may or may not know, but i am a cat person.. i have 2 wonderful cats, jenny and fletcher.. they are the bestest cats in the world.. i am lucky cause my cats love to be loved, so whenever i need a hug fix, i can give them some lovin' and they love me back! they are too funny, and keep me smilin most of the time..

i have found a few cute cat sites that i thought i would pass along to all my millions of readers.. even if you are a dog fan (or sugar glider fan, or fish fan, or mongoose fan), you will probably get a smile from these:

1. cats that look like hitler, or "kitlers" if you will.. omg, these cats really do look like hitler..

2. cats in sinks - just like it sounds - these cats love to lay in the sink.. please, pass the drain-o!!

3. stuff on my cat - my friend, chris, hipped me to this one.. lawdy - too funny.. makes me wanna put all kinds of stuff on my cats!!

monday's attack of the AWWWWWWW!!

2006-10-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

fussy, wiggly, yet clean, pussy!!

awwwwwwwwww!!!!!

jenny watch...

2006-10-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

94 days in --- have lost 3.5 pounds since september 30..

total loss so far: 34.8 pounds

another really good week despite corny dogs, onion strings, tamales, ice cream, and tekeeeeeela!!!

Doug and i were wondering what would happen if for just ONE week we would follow jenny and kirstie religiously and not cheat at all...

hmmm... gonna keep wonderin'

but will do better this week... i promise.. of it

a soul-changing service..

2006-10-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

my sexy Man and i went to the Church this past sunday night.. it's a super cool neo-gothic-electro-industrial club in Dallas' Deep Ellum scene.. we put on our best goth duds and makeup and headed out about 11pm or so, ready to do some dancing and people-watching..

when we arrived, the place was pretty full, with lots of people on the main dance floor.. but we found a table in the dark facing the dancers, and took a seat along the wall.. Doug got us a couple of tequila shots, and we downed them quickly.. the mood there put us in a playful mind-set, and i pulled out my right tit right there at the table, and Doug started biting.. yum!

it's funny, but i don't even know 99% of the music they play there, but the place just makes me wanna dance.. makes Doug wanna dance, too.. so we got up and danced a long time.. not even knowing the music (well, til they played a NIN song), but feeling the heavy bass in our chests.. when we were hot and sweaty, we took a breather and walked around a bit..

after another shot of tequila, we headed upstairs to see what was going on.. we found another table overlooking the dance floor.. i asked Doug if he would go downstairs and dance for me.. he agreed, and made his way down.. i watched him enter the floor, and he gave me a great show.. he moves sooooooooo good; so sexy.. i watched as he made his way on the floor, between girls and guys.. he danced a long time, and finally came back up.. and asked me to go dance alone, too.. so i did.. and i enjoyed knowing he was up there in the dark watching me..

he finally came down and joined me on the floor, and we danced together and apart.. feeling the music way down inside me, i held on to the bars of the higher dance stage, and danced nasty.. we looked at girls shaking their asses.. i was definitely wishing i wasn't so shy.. i would have loved to have danced with a girl.. maybe get her in between Doug and myself..

next time..

after dancing, we stood along the railing of the dance floor, and watched a while.. and then found a table again.. we drank more.. watched more.. we were both pretty lit.. and i found myself with heavy lids.. we decided it was time to go.. almost 3am..

but before we left, we visited the other smaller dance floor, and i tell ya, karma was good to us, because Bowie was singing "heroes" - my very favorite song of his.. and we danced the last dance of the night to that, and we kissed "as though nothing could fall".. and it was one of those lyric moments that i will always remember..

dancing so close, kissing so deep, meaning it.. Bowie, Doug, me..

And you
You can be mean
And I
I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers
And that is a fact
Yes we're lovers
And that is that

...then on the way home, we stopped and shared a whataburger, and time stopped, and smiles deepened, and our senses were full of tequila, mustard, pickles, smoke, music, sex, lust.. all good, all right..

free hugs...

2006-10-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

people i wanna hug: Doug, josh, chris, chris and dan, teri, vince, alex, my dad, secrit, jason and jason, maria, nakina, faith, chris' mom robbin, charlotte, danny, carol, mark.. but most of all, my mom..

give someone a hug today..

come home, soon, babe.. i want your strong arms around me.. i love you..

a girl can dream, can't she?

2006-10-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

oh God, if i could only be a Sweeney Sister!! please, oh please, oh please!

Urban Word of the Day

2006-10-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

snakes on a plane

1. A simple existential observation that has the same meaning as "Whaddya gonna do?" or "Shit Happens." Taken from the mega-superduper hit of a Samuel L. Jackson movie of the same name.

Conversational usage:
Guy 1: (irate) Dude, you just ran into the back of my SUV!
Guy 2: (calm) Snakes on a plane man. Snakes on a plane.

2. A laid-back philosophy - somewhere in between "C'est la vie" and "Eh, whatever!"

conversational usage:
Wife: "Honey you stepped in dog poop again. "
Husband: "Snakes on a Plane..."

Doctor: "Your cholesterol is 290. Perhaps you want to mix in a walk once in a while."
Husband: "Snakes on a Plane..."

Wife: "Honey while you were on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."
Husband: "Snakes on a Plane..."

3. In a heated arguement, if one cannot sufficiently defend himself, stating "snakes on a plane" automatically wins the arguement no matter what the circumstances.

conversational usage:
Dude 1: "Robocop 2 is way better than Robocop 3"
Dude 2: "But Robocop 3 had robot ninjas and jetpacks"
Dude 1:"You know what, snakes on a plane.....snakes on a mutha fuckin plane"

4. An idiom which states an increasing amount of danger or tension, similar to "the shit's hitting the fan" only much more terrible and apocalyptic. The phrase is partly ironic, as if to exaggerate the rather mild (though hilarious) premise of the "Snakes on a Plane" movie starring Samuel L Jackson, which, coincidentally, has snakes on a plane. Imagine!

conversational usage:
John: "How bad was the highway pile-up?"
Marsha: "Let me tell you, it was like snakes on a plane down there."

Bob: "How's your relationship with Chloe going?"
Wesley: "It's getting close to being like snakes on a plane man, seriously."
Bob: "Damn, dude."

5. A complimentary closing used primarily in personal correspondence.

example:
Dear Sherry,

Thanks again for your consideration. The apple sausage was simply devine.

Snakes on a plane,

Craig Stevenson

6. noun, verb, adjective, any: A simple universal phrase that can be taken to mean anything, anywhere, anytime; and when said, is ALWAYS funny. Randomness is a common prerequisite for use of this phrase. Usually having somewhat of a negative connotation, "Snakes on a Plane" can be conceptually used just like the word "fuck", as a common replacement for any word, or a common additon to any phrase. However, since the phrase is universal, it can be used to signify positive events as well. It can be used as a synonymn for anything from smoking weed to having sex. Coined by Samuel L. Jackson in the 2006 summer blockbuster by the same name, "Snakes on a Plane" is the most versatile and most loosely-used phrase in existance. Commonly used with the word "muhfuggin" appearing any number of times throughout.

Since the phrase is such a universal and all-encompassing one, the words "Snakes" and "Plane" MUST always be capitalized.

conversational usage:
John: "Hey Cliff, whats up dude?"
Cliff: "Not much man."
(Long Pause)
Cliff: "Muhfuggin SNAKES on a muhfuggin PLANE, man!"
John: "HAHAHAHA! Cliff, you kill me dude (wipes tear)".

Biker: "You do that again, I'm gonna go Snakes on a Plane on your ass."

Nicole: "Its hotter'n Snakes on a Plane out here."

Ryan: "Hey dude, you up for Snakin' on a Plane tonight?"
Andrew: "I've been wanting to Snakes on a Plane all day. I'm SO glad you said that, dude. Seriously."

Old War Vet: "I was there at Iwo Jima! It was a bloodbath. It was like Snakes on muhfuggin' Plane out there."
Teen: "Dude, that must've been crucial..."

traci: "Hey baby, I've been thinking about you all day... How bout some Snakes on a Plane action tonight?"
Doug: "I was thinking the same thing, slut..."

Mike: "You're a fucking idiot, Adam."
Adam: "Oh YEAH? Snakes on a Plane, dude. Muhfuggin SNAKES. On a PLANE."
Mike: "Alright, chill! You got me."

7. The BEST fucking movie EVER.

conversational usage:
Jack Bauer: "It's called 'Snakes On A Plane' because Samuel L. Jackson said so."